Yeah, it’s that time again – time for a rant! Two, actually. Bear with me please . (P.S. Anyone who hasn’t seen the third Pirates of the Caribbean film should probably not read past the first paragraph, unless they want a little bit of the plot spoiled (not that it’s anything terribly important)).

Well, last week I received a letter from Centrelink saying that they couldn’t renew my Health Care Card because my income was over the limit. Now, I’ve never had this problem before, so I assumed it was because I worked four days in a week a couple of weeks ago (and from memory you’re allowed to do extra work on holidays). So I rang them up, waited for a while, waited some more, and finally got onto a guy who proceeded to ask me to wait while he figures out my income, etc. So, I waited. After a bit of discussion, he told me that because my income had gone back down again before my card’s expiry date (today), I would be fine and they would renew it automatically. So, an 11 minute, 19 second phone call from my mobile was completely useless. Woo!

Last night I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 with Jemma and Stefan. We went out for dinner beforehand at Circle 8 in Newtown, which was totally delicious, and not terribly expensive either. They will definitely get my patronage again in the not-too-distant future. Anyway, as for Pirates – it was a fantastic movie, despite it’s long length. But I have a bone to pick, and you might’ve guessed it was to do with Kiera Knightley (oh, Orlando Bloom too – he makes an awful pirate at the end there).

Okay, so it’s not Kiera herself. She’s quite good, actually. But I’ve noticed a pattern with her characters – she seems to get around a bit. Take Pirates, for example. In the first film, Elizabeth Swan is betrothed to Captain James Norrington. But who does she make out with? Will Turner, a mere blacksmith with not a lot going for him. Whore! Hehe joking.

Anyway, second film: She’s still in love with Will (Norrington got the boot in the first film), but makes out with Jack Sparrow, a pirate of all things! Yes, cheating on poor William! And then the third film, well, you wouldn’t have guessed it, but who does she kiss? Norrington! Yes, the guy she was originally engaged to but dumped way back in the first film. Okay, so maybe she can be forgiven for this – her and Will have been fighting a lot recently. But then what does she do? Goes and marries Will in like the next scene! Admittedly by this time Norrington is already dead, but still – shouldn’t she be mourning his death or something?

Oh, and one last thing in the third Pirates film. Near the very end, saying thanks or whatever to Jack Sparrow, she goes to kiss him. And HE declines. I think he probably realised how much she gets around and decided he didn’t want a part of it. Smart guy, that Jack. Oh, and then Elizabeth and Will make out and have sex on the beach. I assume.

Okay, next film – Love Actually. Kiera’s character, Juliet, gets married to Peter at the very start of the movie. However, we soon enough find out that Peter’s best friend Mark is in love with her (and not Peter, as that woman with the annoying ringtone thinks). Okay, any reasonably monogamous wife would tell him sorry, but she’s married and she loves her husband very much. But no, not Juliet! She goes as far as kissing Mark after a touching display of humility and honesty. And, like with Jack in Pirates, it’s HIM that declines anything more (after she goes back inside, he says “Enough. Enough.”, referring to him perving on her constantly and getting kisses in return).

Um… Other movies to make reference to. I’m pretty sure Bend It Like Beckam was pretty okay in regards to cheating on husbands and husbands-to-be. They were too young for that. Oh well.

Oh, I should mention – I really enjoyed all the movies I mentioned above. I in no way mean to degrade them, I just noticed how much Kiera’s characters seem to get around and I thought it deserved a rant, albeit not a terribly serious one. Hope you enjoyed it!